Kobe: The Greatest Being Ever

Number 24 of the Los Angeles Lakers:
Kobe "Black Mamba" Bryant

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe...

Let’s be honest; Kobe Bryant is the greatest basketball player ever. Having said that, I expect the floodgates to open and the roars of men and women carrying pitchforks and torches come my way. But, settle down. Before we address MJ, let’s discuss the other culprits. For those who say Lebron “King” James, you deserve to get your face slapped off. For those who say Kevin Durant, I have never seen a toothpick win a championship. Now Michael Jordan [by default] is the greatest which leaves him entirely off of any modern compiled list of greatest basketball players. That would be like considering West Virginia University as the greatest partying school in the country--it’s not fair and eventually you have to be retired. The historians can go ahead and pick Michael Jordan but since I consider relevance I’m picking Kobe. 

Kobe is not normal and he is not good either. It would be unwarranted, unconstitutional, unholy, immoral, and completely erroneous to call him anything short of greatness. Deep down, past your veil of ignorance, you know Kobe is the greatest. If the man wanted to overthrow the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia just so he can make a country-wide pool of oil: we should not question him, we should allow it, and we should aid him. He scored 81 points in a modern era game, he wins no matter season or playoffs, he invariably is awarded every season, he consistently scores 25+ points a game, he’s won championships [he’s won with Shaq and without him, he won when he was young and old, he won in this Mayan age and the last--it doesn’t matter]. His greatness is beyond comprehension.

In the past, you’ve called him adulterous, pretentious. Now, you call him selfish. Go ahead and make your excuses but stop ignoring that he is a superstar, a champion, and worldly on top of that [there are not many people more popular than Kobe around the world with the exception of Barak Obama, Osama Bin Laden, and Lady Gaga]. Case closed! 

Let him speak. Let him shoot. Let him play. And shut up.